I laid on my husband's leather couch all day and could barely move, much less breathe. I couldn't help but miss my bed. The bed with a fantastically comfy pillow top that my mom has been drooling over, waiting for me to move out so she could keep it to herself *muah ha ha* Then I missed my mom. She would make me soup and watch old movies with me, curled up on the couch with a blanket and our dog, Fitzy, vying for attention.
I miss them all and I'm sure everyone does when the leave home. I did when I left home my freshman year to move into the dorms, but this is different.
Even taking my things out of my room seemed wrong. I've lived in my room for 23 years. It's weird that I all of a sudden, with an exchange of rings, that it's all over. Everyone says when you're in college you're an adult. It really doesn't hit that you've grown up until you come "home" and are sitting in your room, but you know you don't belong there anymore. As I describe it, it almost sounds depressing. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and the new life we've started together. It's just an adjustment.
I traded in cuddling with my mom watching old movies or Twilight,
and I got a handsome man who wanted to do anything to make me feel a little better. I didn't want to put him out so I didn't really ask for anything but if he offered I'd take it. He made me some soup and picked up some blessed Nyquil and orange juice for me and took care of me. It was sweet :) I can't help but think how amazing it's going to be having him with me all the time. Well, it's already all the time, but you know what I mean...for the rest of our lives all the time :)
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ReplyDeleteUgh I'm sick too. :( Wish I had somebody bringing me orange juice, lucky girl!
Your post seems to be about changes and the loss accompanying them. I like how you say you "traded in watching movies with mom" for your man... that's an incredible way to look at marriage. A trade. What do they say? - one door opens, another closes. I remember going to a concert of Tuban throat-singing (crazy, watch some on YouTube) and one song was about the sadness of a girl leaving her childhood home for marriage. I think us American girls are prepped to fall in love and have a big white wedding (love your photo by the way!) but we don't talk so much about "leaving home."
I read your last line, "for the rest of our lives" and I feel sad. I guess I've got the hospice-blues today, because I feel like I have to remind you (caution you?) that no-one can know how long each of two lives will be, no matter how lovingly intertwined they may be.
Not, uh, implying anything, but rather urging you to enjoy every minute with the people you love - your mom, your man, that cute little foo-foo dog. :)
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