However, I've always had problems. I've been a thicker girl since I can remember. I don't even remember when people told me that I looked great after my last swim season since I'd slimmed down so much my clothes didn't fit anymore. Because of that thickness I've always had a horrible self esteem behind that proud, self-valued image I portray. And just now, I saw an image of myself that just took the cake. I didn't realize what I've been doing to myself by not trying harder to lose weight.
With this first picture, I don't look bad at all in my mind. My arms have always been a problem spot but I've always thought I'd rather have big arms than a huge stomach. But I've been lying to myself. My proof is below.
This looks like a pot-belly stove around my middle! No wonder Louis's mother's been hoping I was with-child! Not that she thinks I'm fat, but that I'm probably teasing her by this weight around my middle that looks like it could be a baby girl with how high my stomach's resting.
This was a real eye-opener. I've been feeling horrible about myself anyway since I thought I looked good and Louis has been more and more frequently poking fun at himself for this belly. I think he's the most handsome man in the world, granted I have a bias, but why do we think so low of ourselves?
I'm determined now. I will make myself better, healthier and more socially acceptable. I'll do it for me. For my own truth instead of telling myself something that obviously isn't.
Wish me luck!
I feel you! It is always good to make a change when you see that one is warranted. And these changes that we make usually stick when they are our own idea (amazing how that works!) So, I commend you for deciding to make a change. It will be exciting to hear the steps that you have chosen to make and the progress that will come along with it. As well as those ever funny relationship stories that you so giftedly tell.
ReplyDeleteIt is funny that you had to post these pictures before it became apparent to me that you had extra weight in the middle. I am one of those that have told you how great you look and how impressed I am by the way you carry yourself. That being the case I find it hilarious that your final comments are on how you need to be more socially acceptable. You carry yourself so well the weight was not obvious to me. That says a great deal about you. Congrats on being a strong woman and for showing you are even stronger than what one would have guessed by pointing out your “flaws” and being willing to work on them. I know how difficult that can be and I commend you for your actions.
ReplyDeleteI am equally amazed that your self-esteem is horrible. You hide that information very well and it makes me wonder – is that something you are going to work on along with your weight? Do you have a game plan so to speak, for what you are going to do to get yourself in shape? If you are interested, I know of a website that may be of some help to you. Let me know and I will get you the information. It is not a diet site but more of a site that helps you find out what works for you based off who you are.
Again Sarah, I am truly impressed by your strength and courage. For someone with low self-esteem and uncertainties in her you have a talent for showing others how to be strong. Be blessed! Peace!
You are beautiful. You do carry yourself well.
ReplyDeleteIf you are ready to lose weight...... have fun!! healthy eating and healthy living can be an adventure!! pick up some fun cookbooks from the library, go bike riding with your hubby, go for a walk in the evening..... check out the student rec center!! celebrate just how much your body can do!! :)
Extra weight's no good for anyone. I know as a nurse's aide, it is SO HARD to care for people who are carrying extra weight, especially when they're no longer to take care of themselves. Even a few extra pounds can make it extraordinarily difficult to change diapers and sheets. Every time I take care of even a slightly heavy patient, I vow I'm going to age THIN.
Good luck with being healthier!!! We ALL need to take on the challenge of being our healthiest selves!!
p.s. it's so gutsy of you to post this!! :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like you are speaking for all women kind! Weight is always such an issue in our minds. Speaking for myself I know I think about it seriously every day. Along with the ever so popular topic of weight comes the modern day health spree that the world is starting to turn to. All the new organic fresh produce stores and abundance of vegans and vegetarians roaming the streets. Healthy eating is becoming more accessible for us finally. And yes health is obviously important because ultimately it is pretty much life and death but I really do think your demeanor and how you carry yourself (like you said) is extremely (if not most) important. It shows who you are as a person. And clearly you are a beautiful woman in every way. Everyone has insecurities and no one is perfect. Like you say in your title, the grass is always greener on the other side. We will never be satisfied with ourselves I don’t think, there’s always more, but that also helps us grow as individuals. With this new goal of yours, you are changing a lifestyle, and who knows what that change can bring! It’s exciting! And ugh the arms, I totally feel you! I too share your struggle. But also thinking about your question why we think low of ourselves…I truly believe society makes an image for women, what is good and what is not. We see societies image of “beauty” in models and magazines and all other forms of media. There’s too much to compare with these days. We can only be ourselves. But I do encourage you in your health goal! You can totally do it, just put your lovely confidence to use. I’m excited to see where change takes you!
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